Personal Narrative

“The Fall of the House of Usher” is a short story that has a gloomy and mysterious setting. It is based on the narrator visiting Rodricks creepy house to help comfort him with his problems and mental disorder that he has. The story opened my eyes to see how a person deals with anxiety and depression and behaves the way that they do. It shows how each individual deals with anxiety differently. I feel like it opened a new door to see how someone deals with their own problems. I have anxiety and it made me sympathize with Rodrick’s anxious feelings. The house is a great way to show how the pandemic/lockdown felt for me and loved ones. I think it made us feel out of touch with the world and the house of Usher is a good representation. 

Having a mental disorder like anxiety or depression is a hard thing to go through. The main character from “The Fall of the House of Usher”, Rodrick deals with being afraid in his own house. He is so scared that he always has nerves and always feels panicked being there. He was having an internal battle with himself trying to figure out what was really wrong. The narrator tries to be there for his friend but nothing really seems to calm his anxious feeling. Rodrick being in that huge house has made him feel ill. All he ever knew was that that eerie house, he grew up with so many memories. Being alone for so long in that house could of caused his depression or anxiety. I think a lot of people felt that way in the pandemic. But he feels trapped. This made me sympathize with Rodrick feelings because I know how bad it gets to be anxious all the time. Its a hard thing to deal with, especially if you are alone like Rodrick. It made me learn more about how a persons behavior correlates to a mental illness like anxiety. I realized that his fear of being alone caused his nerves and I think a lot of people feel that way. 

The house is a great representation on how the pandemic felt. I think a lot of people with anxiety and depression felt trapped and alone in their own house like Rodrick did. Dealing with anxiety myself was hard during lockdown because I was nervous about virus that no one knew nothing about. I was afraid me or my loved ones would have to endure that. Being alone in your house gets you feeling “crazy” and sick of looking at the same dull colored walls. Like when Rodrick described the color of his walls and the negative impact dark and gloomy colors have on the mind. The narrator stated “Some people also think anxiety is being “dramatic” or get told to get over it. In the short story the narrator tries to be supportive and make him happy by doing activities but it still does not calm his nerves. His sister being ill also gives him more anxiety and stress. He didn’t want to lose his other half and only family member left. Since that house was all he knew and memories that he knew so fondly deeply affected him.  Rodricks fear of being alone indicates that this is the cause for his behavior. Rodrick just wanted to be free. I think I felt that way in the lockdown, I felt trapped and full of anxious thoughts. I was anxious for my family, friends, and myself. I’ve never felt so trapped in my own house. I just wanted things to go back to normal. He wanted to enjoy the outside and figure out what was going on in his head but his mind was trapped in the house. This indicates that the atmosphere you are in takes a toll on your mental health. It impacts your growth. I think in the pandemic it was different for me. I took time to gain more knowledge about myself and do hobbies I enjoyed like baking and painting. The atmosphere you are in can either hinder or help your growth as a person. I relate to Rodricks anxious feelings during the pandemic and feeling like the house was a prison but I think it helped me navigate the person I am today and do things I enjoy. It definitely made me grow into the woman I am today and I’ve never felt better. 

Overall “The Fall of the House of Usher” is a great piece of literature that helped me open my eyes on how different people deal with anxiety and depression. Struggling with anxiety myself has helped me to see how others experience impacts their behaviours. I feel like I gained a better perspective on how to deal with anxiety and how to help loved ones with anxiety or depression.